Why has Apple afflicted me?

A recent explosion of whining in the Apple Discussion forums inspired me to parody one of my favourite poems:

A friend told me my Mac had a virus
I installed Mackeeper immediately
Now I can't get into any website
Why has Apple afflicted me?

I refuse to pay for my business email
I use iCloud because it's free
Now it's not working and I'm losing money
Why has Apple afflicted me?

I browse in iTunes instead of working
I do it where my boss can't see
Now it's offline and I can't purchase music
Why has Apple afflicted me?

I bought a phone from a dubious man
In a scruffy market and for a cheap fee
Now it's been locked and I cannot unlock it
Why has Apple afflicted me?

(Apologies to Rudyard Kipling:
http://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poems_naturaltheology.htm)